A conversation with Max
What does BDSM mean to you?
BDSM is synonymous with art. I find something philosophical and artistic in everything I observe and in everything I do something. BDSM is pain, but even taking care of someone, guiding them towards overcoming their physical and mental limits. It is a moment that, even if it's not behind closed doors, is still private, a moment formed by two or more individuals who share a moment, a sensation, a sentiment, in the same way. That's why BDSM means art and philosophy.
The practice that intrigues you the most?
The practice that has always intrigued me is the art of bondage. Bondage is an act of complete trust. It is as if the two individuals were the two pans of the balance; a perfect balance must be found between mind and body, which can only exist thanks to trust. It is a moment in which I can detach myself from the surrounding reality, from my life, freeing my mind and using my senses. Letting myself be cradled and hypnotized by the noise of the ropes when they knotted, to perceive that initial anxiety, immediately muffled by a touch… the smell of the leather, of the ropes.
You are Italian Fetish Man of the Year; what does it mean for you, and how will you carry on with your title in the coming months?
Italian Fetishman of the Year means everything and nothing to me. It means having great responsibility for one's community, for the kids who are part of it now and who will be part of it later. It is a great responsibility that I have been trying to achieve for years, and my persistence has led me to the goal. My time is almost up; April it's my time to pass the baton to someone else. During this year as a representative, I think I have done everything in my power to unite the community even more, and to instil confidence in people hiding or wandering in the darkness of the unknown. I have been present in Italy and abroad, spreading the Italian spirit in every European capital I visited.
As a last act (with the band on), I would like to carry forward the most important message for me, the one on the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases and on the fight against the stigma of HIV. I will do a small fundraising, where the total proceeds will go to charity to an association close to me in Rome, which carries on this fight on the front line with great pride, to make others understand that being HIV positive is not synonymous with the end is that the impediments in life they must not make us stop, but they must strengthen us.
How did you approach the BDSM world and when?
I officially approached the world of BDSM in 2018, but I dreamed of being part of it years before, but due to my minor age, I was unable (and I think it was for the best) to start interacting. Before getting to BDSM, I started as a puppy. I looked for someone who could explain to me what it was, and what was behind it, and once I created my foundations, I followed my instinct and curiosity. Letting myself be inspired by exponents of our community, and little by little, I came to have a spectrum of my person, of my most crystalline "Fetishman" being, and only later did I understand that I wanted to represent my community, also to communicate that a community also leads you to self-affirmation.
What is your fetish?
Narrowing it down to just one fetish or finding the one I'm closest to is next to impossible. I can say that my spirit is closer to the world of rubber. Through rubber, I was able to love my body even more. I started experimenting with outfits rarely seen in this community; also because the world of rubber is very close to my working world and another great passion, fashion. They are two worlds that can coexist- That's why a part of my heart and my person is very attached to the rubber community.
Your hidden side? Tell me a secret…
A "hidden" side of me is perhaps sweetness. Under my cold facade and sour way of speaking, there is a sweet person hiding. I've suffered a lot in my life, I'm young, but from my first breath, I started to suffer living in a complicated family situation, with a father addicted to heroin on one side and a mother trying to save him. I was bullied, suffered from anorexia, completely withdrawn and isolated. In loneliness, I found a best friend, who I still don't let go, because in the end everyone in life after great happy moments finds themselves alone. I've learned to appreciate pain and loneliness to then enjoy happiness even more, I know I'll never be as bad as I used to be… that's why I wore this armour that makes me look cold, I'm eternally mistrustful, but once whom I trust am the most loyal and sweetest person anyone can find in life.
If I say leather, what comes to your mind?
If you say leather, many things resonate in my mind: strong emotions, like my falling in love with a leatherman who was also my first master's degree. Joy comes to mind because, at events, I always find myself next to many leatherman friends who give me a moment of joy. Pain comes to mind because I've always been drawn to feeling pain with leather objects. But above all, I am reminded of the period of the 80s, the iconic American ones, a time in which I wish I had lived, even if it would involve living in fear for the onset of the HIV pandemic.
The SIRAINER object you want the most?
The chain collar. Something that combines my passion for fashion, with my very scally/skinhead lifestyle, but also a sub-plot for my nature that leans towards being submissive. In the end, it all comes back to life and symbolizes my puppy part, which is my beginning in this world.
A fantasy you would like to realize…
I don't have a fantasy that I would like to realize right now. I'm at a point in my life where I've experienced so much, where I continue to enjoy everything as if it were the first time, where I've achieved everything I ever wanted, love, health, money, strong friendships, career, great sex, a place in the world… for the moment I am fully enjoying everything I have, before returning to live in a flat period where I will certainly look for new stimuli and new fantasies to be able to realize.
Photo by @louminosus - Umberto Petrocelli