A conversation with Andrew Gardner

What does BDSM mean to you?

For me, it is about power. To have control and dominance over a sub in such a way that the sub has no control is very erotic. Having a sub submit to you in this way is extremely gratifying and I find it intensifies a connection between a Master and Slave. I think it gives me confidence and makes me feel like I am indestructible like nothing else can.

 

The practice that intrigues you the most?

Rope bondage in all its varying forms intrigues me most, mainly because I don’t have extensive experience with it. There is so much to learn and so many things you can do with a piece of rope, a mundane everyday object can render a sub helpless if it is used right. The fact that if you know what you are doing with it, the possibilities are endless and I need to learn more!

Describe yourself with five adjectives

Open-minded, compassionate, driven, loyal, laidback

 

What is your fetish?

I have many but my main fetish is leather, closely followed by smoking. Both of these have always been synonymous with sex and even with feeling aroused before I even knew what sex was. As I have gotten older, other fetishes have developed. A benefit of having an open mind is that you get to try so many things and as it turns out I like pretty much all of it, so my list of fetishes is now a very long one!

 

Your hidden side? Tell me a secret...

I’m a bit of an introvert. I’m an only child, so I spent a lot of time on my growing up and therefore, I am very used to my own company and enjoy it. I don’t usually like situations with large groups of people. When I am in those situations, I’m usually the quiet one, not saying too much but analysing everything in my head. I start to think things like, ok this person is like this, they find this kind of thing funny, so actually if I were to say this, they might be offended etc. It also comes from a place that I can’t be bothered to jostle for attention. There’s always one or two louder voices in a crowd and I much prefer to let them get on with it and have their moment rather than trying to strain my voice to be heard. This, of course, does have adverse effects and a lot of people will come away with the impression that I am standoffish and rude which I’m ok with because I know that’s not who I am, it actually couldn’t be further from the truth. It takes a while for me to trust someone and let my guard down with them but once I do, they soon realise I am not that arrogant moody guy from the sidelines. I also never have any idea when someone fancies me, I am so bad at reading any signs, I just think someone is being nice. You have to spell it out for me and then I’m like ok, I get it now.

 

If I tell you leather, what comes to your mind?

Sex, power and dominance. The word also conjures up the smell (one of my favourites in the whole world) and the sound of it too, which inevitably will put a smile on my face. When I wear leather, I feel like I can take on anything, I feel my absolute best, it’s like a suit of armour in some ways and as a result, it also makes me feel safe and comfortable.

 

The SIRAINER object you desire most?

The Sir Collar, to match the cuffs I already have, for sure. I would love to see a sub in this matching set, serving me. I also love the chain collar and would probably want to wear this every day myself!

 

In your Instagram profile I read "Leather. Smoke. Life" could you be kind to explain to me why and what these three words mean to you?

These three words all combine to describe one part of my life. I’m trying to show that these fetishes, as with any fetish are part of my life and there is nothing wrong with that, I have embraced them, I enjoy them, I love them and I couldn’t be without them. Social media platforms have allowed us all to express this side of us, which is amazing. There was nothing like this when I was growing up, thinking that I was the only boy in the world who got hard when he put a leather jacket on. I am grateful to be able to share my enjoyment of my fetishes and see others enjoying theirs. It’s also been extremely humbling to connect with other fetishists, especially those who have said that I have inspired them to buy some leather, wear some leather in public for the first time or not be ashamed of the fact they love smoking. For me it was a long journey to not be ashamed of my fetish, I would hide it from some sexual partners, my friends had no idea, so being able to help others get to where I am now is a fantastic thing and my Instagram is a celebration of that, my fetish and who I have become.

 

When and why did this "Smoke Thing" start?

Well, as with leather, it’s always been there. I was intrigued and fascinated by it while I was growing up but never understood that it was anything sexual then. Both my Mum and my Nan smoked, and I always loved the smell of it. First starting high school, I remember being infatuated with the older boys who would be down the field, smoking behind the tree during break times. A couple of them always wore leather jackets and they were my favourites, I would always watch those two in particular. It led me to want to try it myself, which I was able to do by stealing some from my Mum or Nan. As I hit puberty, I began to associate smoking and being sexy, aside from the boys in school, I remember seeing images in the newspapers of guys like Michael Hutchence smoking a cigar or of boy band East 17, all smoking and in leather jackets. These images made me hard and it wasn’t long before I started to smoke when I felt aroused as it made me even hornier. I would put on my leather jacket, smoke and my cock would be rock hard, all before I’d even discovered what wanking was! I would just smoke and play with my cock with no happy ending!

 

A fantasy that you would like to realize…

Sexually, there isn’t much that I haven’t done that I have wanted to do. A dream situation would be to have a regular house slave. I have this idea that a sub will turn up when ordered, in its gear, be collared and cuffed and then get to work doing my chores while I do whatever I want. There would be no sexual expectation from the sub, it would be more than happy just to be able to serve me in this way, making my life easier and it would be content with this. However it would know, that if I wanted to use its holes, it would have no choice, it has already surrendered them to me and I can use them as and when I want to. I’ve never found one that’s lasted more than a few sessions, so that’s yet to be realised.