A Conversation with Niko Kinbaku
What does BDSM mean to you?
BDSM is a vast universe but it could simply start by blinding your partners or collaring their necks. Through those two simple acts, we have some kind of rituals that can take place between two people who wish to create a space where they can play.
I use the word PLAY for everything related to BDSM intercourse as well as in my intimate life.
The global culture can make us feel obliged to follow standards and this can also be the case with our sexuality.
If it is approached playfully, inhibition slips away and we feel safer exploring it.
If you feel like you are playing as a kid, you may be on the right path.
I also believe that BDSM can help heal certain traumas, help you let go and learn how to deeply connect with others.
The practice that intrigues you the most?
Bondage of course, I like to take control over someone, objectify, expose and make them feel vulnerable.
Describe yourself with five adjectives
Passionate, patient, curious, communicative, and empathetic.
What is your fetish?
Leather for sure and I have recently been deeply interested in rubber.
Rope enthusiast-instructor-performer, tell me more about these activities…
I use the word "enthusiast" but it is actually more a form of obsession and permanent research.
Regarding teaching, I started two years ago with a little group who came to me asking for courses. I trained three pairs for four months and I was happy to see them evolve, blossom and become totally autonomous in the appropriation of a scene. I still thank them very much for their trust and their assiduity.
I had to deconstruct the knowledge that I had already assimilated in order to transmit it.
I learned as much about teaching as I did about receiving lessons and I really felt fulfilled in doing so.
I teach at home; since the first lockdown, I transformed my living room into a Dojo, more precisely into a place dedicated to playing in all its forms.
I also teach in associations dedicated to Shibari.
This year my body gave out on me, I suffered a shoulder injury and a knee issue. Everything is being fixed, and I look forward to fully resuming my activities soon.
As a rope performer, I started after less than a year of practice, I played in a bar and had to deal with a lot of adrenaline and stress. It was a great experience that I repeated many times and since then I have learned to tame these emotions, let them flow and carry me while on stage. It's emotionally very intense and I love it!
I would also like to thank my rope partner, Raph, who has been following me for the past 3 years as a model for learning, teaching and performing.
We have created an interdependent relationship; he is more than a friend and a member of my family. I have a lot of affection for him and I wouldn't be in the position I am in without him.
I think this is a great example of what BDSM can develop as a type of relationship. It's like accessing an extra layer in life.
I’m working on an exciting project that merges the rubber and ropes on stage.
A person you would love to hang and tie, but haven't managed to do it yet?
I would love to tie certain people or performers, but until I get to know them, I don't feel legitimate to play until I know the chemistry that can be developed between us.
What attracts me in tying a person is their potential to play regardless of gender identity or orientation.
When and why did this rope and shibari passion start?
Since I turned 20 years old, I have liked to tie up my partners with nylon ropes for no other reason than a fetish to improve my body aesthetic.
For many years before I started to learn shibari properly, I had been seeking pleasure to the point where I lost myself in it and I got the feeling that this practice could help me fill something I missed.
The need to renew myself, explore an art form, connect with others and learn to let go.
Four years ago, I was lucky to find instructors who helped me progress quickly with Japanese bondage techniques and that's when I felt a vocation was born.
Your hidden side? Tell me a secret...
I love shows and music in many forms and it is opera that transcends me the most. Since the beginning of this year 2023, I have been following lyrical singing courses.
I'm not sure where this is going to go yet, but I'm convinced that finding my Voice will help me somewhere.
If I tell you leather, what comes to your mind?
A fetish, of course, smell, touch, the feeling of a second skin.
The SIRAINER object you desire most?
The one I desire the most (and that I actually already own) is the leather rope that I tried for the first time during the last Folsom Street Fair in Berlin.
Thanks to SIRAINER for giving me the opportunity to play with some of them, we had fun.
From a technical viewpoint, compared to the traditional jute ropes used for Japanese bondage, the leather ones are smoother with more surface contact to the skin, which means less pressure on the body with more comfort and safety. Leather ropes rub very well on themselves which allows for a more minimalist way of tying with less friction and knots.
Models told me that the feeling of these ropes on the skin was much more sensual!
I apply the skills I have learned in Japanese bondage with harnesses that are quick and easy to tie and also very effective for play.
Add to this the fact that these leather ropes, unlike jute ropes, are unaffected by fluids, and I have a very playful tool for intimate bondage.
Since then… the biggest SIRAINER object I desire is the Biker Chain Collar.
The contact of leather on the neck, its smell combined with the weight of the inside chain are very satisfying.
It literally turned me on the last time my friend collared me with it.
A fantasy that you would like to realize…
Regarding my fantasies, it's quite unclear at the moment. I’m evolving in relationships that allow me to explore new deep ways of playing that were recently unknown to me.
My wish at the moment is to develop them as a dom and also as a sub. Actually, it's very exciting because I don't know yet where these experiences will take me.
Photo credit: Christophe Apatie
Model: Raph @mug_n_rope